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Because, reasons.

 

The long and short of it is that I gave up on my commitment and then things went how they went and I ended up where I ended up.

I got pregnant and had a miscarriage and in that 11 weeks I ate some feelings and a little too many empty calories and I put on a few pounds. Then, I immediately got pregnant again and did what I do when I’m growing a human.

Whatever the heck I want.

At the time, I took on that I had chosen to go off my eating and living commitments and to just be and do as I pleased. Looking back though, I see so obviously that I resigned myself to a comfortable fate.

Reasons are unresolved possibilities, dipped in circumstance and washed down with a cold glass of justification.

I can always come up with reasons. Reasons why I do. Reasons why I be. Reasons why I act or don’t act, speak or don’t speak, eat or don’t eat.

So. Many. Reasons.

Looking back on all of the last two years I feel love for myself and I know that resignation doesn’t make me wrong. It’s just what it was in the moment. And that brings us to now, today, the first of March.

I’m taking on a way of being that creates space for a shift of action and a transformation of my physical body. I’m taking on my sugar, salt and fat addiction. I am taking on being rigorous and mindful. I’m taking on being a contribution and sharing my journey as I go so that anyone out there that thinks it’s not possible to create themselves can watch and see that it is.

Today is day one of a 30 day transformation and tomorrow I’ll share how I intend to drop 28lbs in 30 days, alter my brain to no longer crave foods outside of my commitment and how I intend on moving into a life of healthful, nourished living.